Sovereignty Through Something Like Music

God has a way of bring me to my knees by the things I love. Music is a huge part of my life, and I love seeing God work in me through it. Today on our way home from church, All of these different songs, with very differing words filled the the car with their lyrics and overtook me, my emotions, and I felt God working, changing me. 

All these songs spoke to me. In the way the music moves and has such truth in each one. And God allowed them to be played in this order on the way back.  They all have meanings and all meant something very huge to me all at the same time. The perfect order, the perfect songs for what Jesus knew I needed today. And now I will shut up and let the words speak for themselves.  

Slow Fade - Casting Crowns 


Be careful little eyes what you see
It?s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings


And thoughts invade, choices are made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

It?s a slow fade
It?s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattering leads to compromises
The end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises
Leave broken hearts astray


People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day




                      ~(*)~
What Do I Know of Holy? - Addison Road 


What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?


                       ~(*)~


Blessings - Laura Story 

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

                    ~(*)~

My Savior, My God - Aaron Shust 

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

~Caitlin 

College = Pending(Still)

I haven't mentioned this yet, because I 1) don't know if it will happen and 2) didn't want to get my hopes so far up to the point of telling people, just to have my own dreams crushed, once again.

But for two months, I have been planning on attending Northland International University in Dunbar, Wisconsin with an associates degree in Women and Family Ministries. I have had to many delays. Not sure who all to blame, and it doesn't matter, anyway. God is taking care of everything as I type, so I dont' worry about that.

I wish someone would have told me years ago how expensive college was/is... That would have helped A LOT of my stress and doubts about this next year of my life. But, God always seems to have a plan to stretch me, further my faith in Him and make me trust him whole-heartedly. Yes, I know He is taking care of me, but when I can't see what He is up to, I like most people get very uneasy. Me more than other, I think.

I thought I had everything in line, when-BAM! Something ELSE came up that went wrong, I needed to fix, or someone else plain screwed up.

I found out a week ago that I needed shots for school. I signed a waiver, but found out I cannot waiver ALL my immunizations. So, I went to the health department that next morning(After finding out at 3 a.m.!) and sat there waiting in line with every other person and their brother waiting to get THEIR shots for school that started this week. I knew it would be busy, but I didn't expect to sit there for 2 1/2. hours! I should have known... Oh well! There was no way to know since this was my first trip to the HD to actually RECEIVE shots. Anyway, I got there, got it done, went home, felt like C-R-A-P and went to bed. Went and ate, then went to bed again. I got the paper work finished. That's all I cared about! Alas, three days later I have the paper sent back telling me it was filled out incorrectly. The lady signed the paper 2021! Instead of, of course, 2011. So, I called and asked that they fax the proof of my immunization session to the school since they were the ones that messed up. Royally! I FINALLY got an email confirmation that it is indeed taken care of, this morning.

You think THAT is cuttin' it kinda close? Listen to this!

FAFSA. I needed my parents' tax information. MY tax information, a pin number, my mother's pin number and about a million other things, of which I did not have(of course) because I know the devil is trying to discourage me, well, guess what!! It ain't workin'! I know he is behind it, and will not have ANY part of it!

Anyway, back to the reason I brought FAFSA up. I needed this so the school could finish my Financial Aid part of my school file, but I had not yet gotten my Financial Aid application in yet, because there were, yet again, more problems.

This(Above) is about the number of books I am assuming I will have by the end of furthering my education.

And...THIS! Is about how much money I am pretty sure I will be out of by the time all those books,( pens, paper, shampoo, towels, SWEATERS, more sweaters, and long underwear...etc) are paid for! I am feeling very overwhelmed right now, but I am actually handling it all fairly well. For me, anyway.

I am not sure how to handle all of this because I don't know how to pay for school, and don't have any options as of right now. I am racking my brain. So far, I have come up with working more doubles at work and selling plasma. Well, I worked a few doubles, and am still virtually penniless. HA! I am going to try the whole Plasma thing...next week, hopefully, maybe. It's not much, but it might pay for gas for the trip there!

God WILL supply, this I know. I am always wondering "when" this will come to pass, though, and I end up not looking at what is right in front of me as His provision.

Please pray for me as I continue to seek God's will for my life and try to stay sane while doing it.

God knew...

So, after my last rant about not having a job...I got one. God provided a waitressing job for me a few minutes from where I work. I love it. I get to interact with people and meet new ones, see older friends. It's the perfect job for me in this time in my life. God knew...And I knew He did. It, as we all know, is hard to see the big picture when we only have the paper to go off of. Yes, God has the crayons. He gets to draw the guide-lines, choose what colors we are in, what car we have and when, what house, what husband...These are all hard lessons to learn. Some of us even go through them, and don't learn the lesson that God meant to accompany it.
We, as humans, are selfish! Life is all about US! Well...That's what God comes in with His big RED crayon to correct any mistakes we made by picking up the wrong color before He was finished with showing us with what color to finish drawing. We are so impatient. I am a poster model for impatient. If you spend time with me at all, you will know this. We all are. No one of us want to wait for God's perfect timing if it doesn't include OUR time frame.
And you know what?! That is SO backwards from what it should be. We are to wait on Him. In HIS time! Hopefully there will come a day when I can say I have learned that lesson to the extent and in the way God intended me to. I pray I will meet HIS standards for my life. Not very one else's. That is pointless. What do we get from that???....Absolutely nothing that counts.
God knew when I was complaining and whining, that He was going to take care of me. But not in MY time. He showed me that and it was very humbling to know that no matter how long I tried where I applied, I wasn't gonna get a job without His okay.
That made me see things in a whole new light. God knew that's what it was going to take to break me.
~(*)~
Since I have started my job, I have been subjected to all sorts of foul language that I feel uncomfortable with. It is against what I believe, do myself, and think others should do. Please help me by praying that God would remind me to pray for the people who say something they shouldn't. Every time they cuss, take God's name in vain or just say something inappropriate, I try to pry for that person. Please help me by praying I would remember to do so.
Today, or yesterday rather, considering the time, I "happened" to come across this verse on a friends blog. I had actually not heard it before, so the newness of it helped me have a great thankfulness for it.
"Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you..." Isaiah 43:4
This helped me so much. Another one that helps as well when I am down is "And thou shalt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee."

Thank you so much for reading. I will try to update more often.

Yours,

Cait