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Thursday, August 30, 2012

think on these things

While pondering what I would do if I knew, as a fact, that I would have one day left to live and what I would do or how I would spend that day, I got thinking a little. Or, a lot, rather.

I would be scared, confused. I would want to spend it with the love of my life and my family. But when I started thinking how I would want it, I started seeing a reality mock up of that day/night. I would be fighting a lot. Arguing, saying things I didn't mean, but would say out of fear for the unknown.

During this epiphany at 2:30 in the morning, I came to the conclusion, this is exactly the reason God does not allow us to know when our end will come. He knew exactly how we would react to matters of money, wealth, power, illness, and He for-knew that we would act as complete idiots with this information. He knew we couldn't handle the truth.

Human's are creatures of habit. And because of this, we don't like when life throws curve balls in the way of our happiness. However, that kind of thinking is why so much depression is caused. Our minds are not open, we are set on our "Ten Year Plan" and if anything deviates from that, our life is off focus and we feel we need to regroup. What idiots we are!

After coming to his conclusion, I for one, am eternally grateful that my Lord does not withhold any good thing from me (Psalm 84:11)

My God loves me. Withholding this news from us, is proof He loves us so much He wants us to live in harmony and love toward each other. Not in quarrelsome attitudes, but unfailing mercy and grace. 



Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things(Philippians 4:8 ESV)




Thursday, July 26, 2012

blessings through affliction

This time last year I had so many decision to make; whether or not I should go to school and seek out God's will for my life, stay here and continue working aimlessly. I made a decision, though. Based on faith in Christ and in His sovereign hand in my life. He taught me so much through choosing Him and making the hard decision to follow blindly to the state of Wisconsin for a year and trust He knew what He was doing in my life. Leaning on Christ was the hardest, most exciting, rewarding thing in my spiritual walk I had done up till that point. Independence, yet being dependent on God, makes your faith, trust and love for Christs stronger than you can imagine, but God doesn't stop there. He never will. He will always keep pushing, pulling, shoving, and dropping you out of His comfortable nest, to see us fly and learn that new isn't always bad. The tough things in life always seem to be the most peace-offering.

This time last year, I was scared about the following year and what God would allow in my life, making me stronger in my walk. I never could have imagined the heart break I would feel in the up coming times, but the Lord is gracious and always exceeds my expectations. Always.

Long, rocky roads are only rocky for a time. Time is a great healer, or so I've heard. Wounds hurt deep, but are never healed in vain. God's grace abounds. He said it would! I can only praise God for the blessings He brought into my life through the pain I have been allowed to feel and go through. I can definitely think of harder situations or differing scenarios  than those I went through, and I will be the first to say, my God loves me. This, I know!

Recap: Yes, I may feel like I am back in my own aimless world of last year before my life changed forever, but I have changed. Therefore, I can change my look on my situation and know that I am not without hope. I, occasionally, feel like I am waiting around with nothing to do until God brings another road to walk, but shame on me for thinking He doesn't have me here, right now for something just as great. Maybe in my life, maybe in someone else's. That doesn't matter. My God reigns. What right do I have to be so selfish as to think He may bring a situation in my life that only I may benefit from? None! Almighty God can do all things.
And He will do the best for me and I will attempt to be my best for Him.

Because I love Him.
Praise Him for His excellent greatness! (Psalm 150)



Monday, July 23, 2012

Gods word: from Him to me


Hebrews has been such a blessing to me! Reading chapter 9 I learned and truly saw the meaning and reason Christ came to earth to die the terrible death He died. How His blood covered our sins. He not only forgave ones I committed yesterday and today but already forgave the ones I WILL commit tomorrow and is standing by, ready to hold me in His loving, precious arms. Notice how many changed have been made to the appearance of the text. Notice how many time each of the embellished words are mentioned. When God says something once, He means it. When He says something more than once, He wants you to KNOW it with every part of your being! This is something I have been trying to capture in my mind and learn how to study out His Word(2 Timothy 3:16) in my every day study.




Hebrews 10:1-39



For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, “Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired, but a body have you prepared for me; in burnt offerings and sin offerings you have taken no pleasure. Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come to do your will, O God, as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.’” When he said above, “You have neither desired nor taken pleasure in sacrifices and offerings and burnt offerings and sin offerings” (these are offered according to the law), then he added, “Behold, I have come to do your will.” He does away with the first in order to establish the second. And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying, “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,” then he adds, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.” Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.


*A change in direction*


Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For,
“Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him.”
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.



Monday, June 11, 2012

The Power of Music

A song that has recently had a great inpact on me is one called "Time In Between" by Franchesca Battistelli. 


Her songs usually speak to me because of their meaning and passion she puts into them. This one, however, has more. It has the power to bring tears to the eyes of anyone who has no clue what's going on for two reasons: 1) It's beautiful and passionate and 2) because it shows the world's Creator being tortured in a gut-wrenching way. Here are some of the words and a link to the song you can find by clicking  here. Enjoy!







You were there when your Father said
"Let there be light" (Genesis 1:3) 
You obeyed when He whispered
Son, You have to leave tonight
To spend nine months in a mothers womb (Matthew 1) 
Three days in a borrowed tomb (Matthew 27:57-61) 
(Chorus One)
But it’s the time in between (Matthew 1-26) 
That brings me to my knees
Knowing you came for me (John 3:16-21)
And all that I can't be
I'm amazed, so amazed
And I thank You for the time in between
Don't take much for this crazy world
To rob me of my peace
And the enemy of my soul
Says You’re holding out on me
So I stand here lifting empty hands
For you to fill me up again
(Chorus Two)
But it’s the time in between
That I fall down to my knees
Waiting on what You'll bring
And the things that I can't see
I know my song’s incomplete
Still I'll sing in the time in between
So many ways
Your love has saved the day
And I'm grateful for them all
(Chorus 3)
But it’s the time in between
The middle of two thieves
That says everything
It’s the reason I believe (Acts 16:31)
I'm amazed, so amazed
And I thank you for the time in between
Oh Lord, I thank you for the time in between

The parts with the highlighted areas are where I looked up passages to go with these statements. There are also different ones for most, except Genesis 1. There are four gospels like John and Matthew, and there are many ways to communicate it. These are simply the ones I chose. 
~Caitlin 





Thursday, April 26, 2012

Unimportant Arguments

I hate fighting with God. No matter how much I get upset about things that I think he does just to irk me, if I go to Him, and appeal to Him, he is faithful and shows me again and again that He loves me and whatever I am being stupid and sensitive about, is actually for my own good and He is being my loving protector.

Passages like 1 Timothy 2 where it talks about the purpose of a women in the church makes me so mad. Guys get so much responsibility and God works through them in a great way. But what do I get? I get to pray? Behind the scenes? I'm supposed to submit? And stay quiet when it comes to teaching?

Sometimes, I plainly do not agree with what God does. But not too long ago. Like, literally 10 minutes ago, I went to Him and told him I wasn't happy. I was upset that I wasn't being "treated right" or wasn't getting the same "responsibility" men have in the church because of a woman HE made so long ago was deceived by a fallen male angel. This may not be correct to the whole extent, but that was my argument. But God answered faster than I could cry out.

"Do you trust Me?" He asked.
"... Sometime, I actually wonder.." I admit guilty.
"What have I done for you? Who am I? How much do I love you? he kept asking and I had no answer.

Ouch...

All right. Jesus? You win. Still. Again. Always.

I do love you. Thanks for loving me too.


P.S. No that was not the whole argument. I had a LOT more to say. And so did He. But this was the crucial part.



Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sovereignty Through Something Like Music

God has a way of bring me to my knees by the things I love. Music is a huge part of my life, and I love seeing God work in me through it. Today on our way home from church, All of these different songs, with very differing words filled the the car with their lyrics and overtook me, my emotions, and I felt God working, changing me. 


All these songs spoke to me. In the way the music moves and has such truth in each one. And God allowed them to be played in this order on the way back.  They all have meanings and all meant something very huge to me all at the same time. The perfect order, the perfect songs for what Jesus knew I needed today. And now I will shut up and let the words speak for themselves.  


Slow Fade - Casting Crowns 


Be careful little eyes what you see
It?s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings



And thoughts invade, choices are made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

It?s a slow fade
It?s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattering leads to compromises
The end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises
Leave broken hearts astray



People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day





                      ~(*)~
What Do I Know of Holy? - Addison Road 


What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?



                       ~(*)~


Blessings - Laura Story 




When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home


What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise



                    ~(*)~

My Savior, My God - Aaron Shust 

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be



~Caitlin 

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Faithfully

Four weeks ago, Nick and I started reading a book called "When God Writes Your Love Story" and we loved every minute of it, no matter how grueling it may have been to read about how we have failed. But we know that God is always faithful, even if we aren't. This song is one that the authors wrote together and sang themselves when they were much younger. They have a truly amazing story and I can't wait to start reading "When Dreams Come True" by Eric and Leslie Ludy as well. 

We love the book we read together, and will now embark on reading the next one together. Lord willing, we will get a lot of out seeing a Christ-like relationship lived out, even if our circumstances are different. 

Here are the lyrics to the song above:

Tonight I saw a shooting star
Made me wonder where you are
For years I have been dreaming of you
And I wonder if you're thinking of me too
In this world of cheap romance
And love that only fades after the dance
They say that i'm a fool to wait for something more
How can I really love someone i've never seen before
But I have longed for true love every day that I have lived
And I know that real love is all about learning how to give
So I pray that god will bring you to me
And I pray you'll find me waiting faithfully

Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
Cause this kind of loves worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours
Faithfully

Tonight I saw two lovers kiss
Reminded me of my own loneliness
They say that i'm a fool to keep on praying for you
How can I give up pleasure for a dream that won't come true
But I will keep believing that god still has a plan
And though I can't see you now,
I know that he can
And someday I will give you all of me
Until I find you, i'll be waiting faithfully

Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
Cause this kind of loves worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours
Faithfully