Unimportant Arguments

I hate fighting with God. No matter how much I get upset about things that I think he does just to irk me, if I go to Him, and appeal to Him, he is faithful and shows me again and again that He loves me and whatever I am being stupid and sensitive about, is actually for my own good and He is being my loving protector.

Passages like 1 Timothy 2 where it talks about the purpose of a women in the church makes me so mad. Guys get so much responsibility and God works through them in a great way. But what do I get? I get to pray? Behind the scenes? I'm supposed to submit? And stay quiet when it comes to teaching?

Sometimes, I plainly do not agree with what God does. But not too long ago. Like, literally 10 minutes ago, I went to Him and told him I wasn't happy. I was upset that I wasn't being "treated right" or wasn't getting the same "responsibility" men have in the church because of a woman HE made so long ago was deceived by a fallen male angel. This may not be correct to the whole extent, but that was my argument. But God answered faster than I could cry out.

"Do you trust Me?" He asked.
"... Sometime, I actually wonder.." I admit guilty.
"What have I done for you? Who am I? How much do I love you? he kept asking and I had no answer.

Ouch...

All right. Jesus? You win. Still. Again. Always.

I do love you. Thanks for loving me too.


P.S. No that was not the whole argument. I had a LOT more to say. And so did He. But this was the crucial part.

Sovereignty Through Something Like Music

God has a way of bring me to my knees by the things I love. Music is a huge part of my life, and I love seeing God work in me through it. Today on our way home from church, All of these different songs, with very differing words filled the the car with their lyrics and overtook me, my emotions, and I felt God working, changing me. 

All these songs spoke to me. In the way the music moves and has such truth in each one. And God allowed them to be played in this order on the way back.  They all have meanings and all meant something very huge to me all at the same time. The perfect order, the perfect songs for what Jesus knew I needed today. And now I will shut up and let the words speak for themselves.  

Slow Fade - Casting Crowns 


Be careful little eyes what you see
It?s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings


And thoughts invade, choices are made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

It?s a slow fade
It?s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattering leads to compromises
The end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises
Leave broken hearts astray


People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day




                      ~(*)~
What Do I Know of Holy? - Addison Road 


What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?


                       ~(*)~


Blessings - Laura Story 

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

                    ~(*)~

My Savior, My God - Aaron Shust 

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

~Caitlin 

Faithfully

Four weeks ago, Nick and I started reading a book called "When God Writes Your Love Story" and we loved every minute of it, no matter how grueling it may have been to read about how we have failed. But we know that God is always faithful, even if we aren't. This song is one that the authors wrote together and sang themselves when they were much younger. They have a truly amazing story and I can't wait to start reading "When Dreams Come True" by Eric and Leslie Ludy as well. 

We love the book we read together, and will now embark on reading the next one together. Lord willing, we will get a lot of out seeing a Christ-like relationship lived out, even if our circumstances are different. 

Here are the lyrics to the song above:

Tonight I saw a shooting star
Made me wonder where you are
For years I have been dreaming of you
And I wonder if you're thinking of me too
In this world of cheap romance
And love that only fades after the dance
They say that i'm a fool to wait for something more
How can I really love someone i've never seen before
But I have longed for true love every day that I have lived
And I know that real love is all about learning how to give
So I pray that god will bring you to me
And I pray you'll find me waiting faithfully

Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
Cause this kind of loves worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours
Faithfully

Tonight I saw two lovers kiss
Reminded me of my own loneliness
They say that i'm a fool to keep on praying for you
How can I give up pleasure for a dream that won't come true
But I will keep believing that god still has a plan
And though I can't see you now,
I know that he can
And someday I will give you all of me
Until I find you, i'll be waiting faithfully

Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
Cause this kind of loves worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours
Faithfully