Love is a journey... Part 1

And we started our journey March 12, 2011. Sunday evening when we were at my home church in Derby Kansas. Not "us" technically. Nick went to a Bible college from the North side of Wisconsin. The Lord has led him to travel with the ministry team that went around, well, ministering to various churches and school's, recruiting students for the college. The team was in my hometown for a two-day weekend, to have a youth activity with the teens, be in charge of Sunday school for them, then have an activity for the College and Career aged group of people as well.

I was busy with work, closing up the place every weekend night, which means 1-2 a.m. evenings. This meant I did not make it to Sunday school, just church - barely. This particular Sunday, I had no idea this team of all guys from a Bible school were going to be in town. (Crazy for a single girl to not know, right?!) So, I walked in a few minutes late to a guy at the podium I had never seen before, but would like to have.

I quickly found my family, squeezed in the pew, and sat down taking mental notes of the other heads I could only view the back of. "Darn it", I said to myself, thinking this would have been a good to day be on time, or even a little early. Any other team we had come to our church had mostly woman in them and if there were men, they were all engaged, married, or, honestly, not that good to look at. This team, however, was a little different. If, you know what I mean!

That afternoon, I didn't think much of it. I had a lot going on that day, so my mind was somewhere else. My sister and I took the day to go horseback riding for my first time. Throughout that time, my poor foot was stepped on by the hoof of a 30,000,000 pound horse (again, not really, but the point is made.)! My sister, Elise, came away with more sustained injuries after being thrown quite a few feet from a rather brat-like horse, in my profession opinion! My thoughts were engaged elsewhere, to say the least.

That is, until we arrived home, at my parents' home for the afternoon. As we told our sleepy-looking parents our stories of the day and started thinking about whether or not we would make it to church that evening, my mind went to those five handsome strangers of which I had no existed until that very morning. I thought about it, and decided I should go. I was very single, after all. While deciding what to wear for the service and the activity afterwards, I chose my trusty KU basketball shirt since they had a game that night I would watch later on. So with my Kansas blue shirt, capri's and tennis, I was out the door. But before I left, I shouted back to my two younger sisters, "Don't wait up for me, I'm gonna go meet my future husband tonight!"....

think on these things

While pondering what I would do if I knew, as a fact, that I would have one day left to live and what I would do or how I would spend that day, I got thinking a little. Or, a lot, rather.

I would be scared, confused. I would want to spend it with the love of my life and my family. But when I started thinking how I would want it, I started seeing a reality mock up of that day/night. I would be fighting a lot. Arguing, saying things I didn't mean, but would say out of fear for the unknown.

During this epiphany at 2:30 in the morning, I came to the conclusion, this is exactly the reason God does not allow us to know when our end will come. He knew exactly how we would react to matters of money, wealth, power, illness, and He for-knew that we would act as complete idiots with this information. He knew we couldn't handle the truth.

Human's are creatures of habit. And because of this, we don't like when life throws curve balls in the way of our happiness. However, that kind of thinking is why so much depression is caused. Our minds are not open, we are set on our "Ten Year Plan" and if anything deviates from that, our life is off focus and we feel we need to regroup. What idiots we are!

After coming to his conclusion, I for one, am eternally grateful that my Lord does not withhold any good thing from me (Psalm 84:11)

My God loves me. Withholding this news from us, is proof He loves us so much He wants us to live in harmony and love toward each other. Not in quarrelsome attitudes, but unfailing mercy and grace. 



Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8 ESV)

Unimportant Arguments

I hate fighting with God. No matter how much I get upset about things that I think he does just to irk me, if I go to Him, and appeal to Him, he is faithful and shows me again and again that He loves me and whatever I am being stupid and sensitive about, is actually for my own good and He is being my loving protector.

Passages like 1 Timothy 2 where it talks about the purpose of a women in the church makes me so mad. Guys get so much responsibility and God works through them in a great way. But what do I get? I get to pray? Behind the scenes? I'm supposed to submit? And stay quiet when it comes to teaching?

Sometimes, I plainly do not agree with what God does. But not too long ago. Like, literally 10 minutes ago, I went to Him and told him I wasn't happy. I was upset that I wasn't being "treated right" or wasn't getting the same "responsibility" men have in the church because of a woman HE made so long ago was deceived by a fallen male angel. This may not be correct to the whole extent, but that was my argument. But God answered faster than I could cry out.

"Do you trust Me?" He asked.
"... Sometime, I actually wonder.." I admit guilty.
"What have I done for you? Who am I? How much do I love you? he kept asking and I had no answer.

Ouch...

All right. Jesus? You win. Still. Again. Always.

I do love you. Thanks for loving me too.


P.S. No that was not the whole argument. I had a LOT more to say. And so did He. But this was the crucial part.

So This Is Love

5 Months. 

Sunday, February 12, 2012 marks five months with the love of my life. 

I love that man. 

He makes me mad. He makes me happy. He brings the best and worst out of me. 

These were the pictures we got taken right after our 4th monthiversary.  A "just for fun" couple shoot.

The closeness of these just astound me. I truly amazes me how comfortable we not only feel, but look when we are together. 

The Lord has truly blessed me in the last 11 months since I have met this wonderful person that has been allowed to be in my life. I have always wanted someone I could be myself with. I found myself when I met him. He pushes me in my relationship with my savior and loves me even though I am human and show it. God, through him, shows me grace and an unconditional love. I love him with all of my heart I have to give. 

Sunday: what an amazing day to celebrate how God brought us together! 

I love watching God work. I love being a part of His handy work. He is amazing and I am so incredibly excited to see how Christ leads the next chapter in our lives and He brings us closer together, through Him.

Photos by J<3DH Photography.